New year, new me, new blog

Please do check out my new blog :) It's my attempt at getting some weight lost and finally being the me I want to be. At the moment it will include my diet progress, lists of each days meals, and tips for fussy eaters like me who are always put off diets by the given meal plan full of food we don't like!

Once I am on my way to resembling the person I want to be it will go into other aspects, such as finding make-up for super sensitive skin etc :)

http://my-dieting-adventure.blogspot.co.uk

Going Out

Well now, it is well known that it is rare for me to be found out of bed and particularly out of my pyjamas on an evening however tonight I shall be breaking that tradition. I am the President of the South Park society at uni and tonight we are having a social. We are going to the Graduate in Sheffield, a pub. I know, shocking right? I really hope people turn up though, otherwise the shedding of pyjamas and the braving of icy pavements will be for nothing. I'll keep you posted.

Had a lecture and seminar today - Children's Literature, looking at Alice in Wonderland. I'm also happy to report my classes were sorted out and I have been put into an earlier seminar so it wont affect my teaching yey. I'm glad cos I really did want to go to these seminars, I have been really enjoying the books. Today i finished listening to the Northern Lights audio book and I am almost finished The Secret Garden. I am ahead on my reading for uni which feels so good.

Organisational Nightmare

So, I am currently waiting to hear from my course leader about whether or not I will be able to switch seminar groups. Basically i am doing a module called Writer as Teacher where I go into a school once a week and take an English class. I am also taking a Children's Literature module and this is where the problem starts. I am supposed to be in an 11:30am seminar that finishes at 1pm. This would be all well and good if the only time the school were able to take me on wasn't 1:05pm. The school is about 40mins away on the bus so you see my problem. Anyway I really want to be able to go to the seminars so at the moment I am just waiting and hoping.

I have been told I should get adsense on my blog, but I really don't know, I just don't trust giving my bank details to the internet lol. I guess I will think about it.

C was over this weekend and we watched the last Jurassic park (after he managed to talk me into watching the first a few weekends ago and then I bought him to box set for his birthday). The third wasn't great but oh well. We have also been really big on The Office US, which I really wasn't expecting to like.

Anyway that's all for now. I shall attempt to post again and to try keep up the one a day posts :)

So, You Like Games, Huh?

Ok so lets skip the "I'm so sorry I haven't posted" posts and go straight to something I want to flag up. The main thing is a blog for a game currently in development - Forlorn 2. See blog here. Don't be put off by the 2, I haven't played the first one either but I fully intend on playing the second. Keep checking the blog for updates on how the development is going, and they need all the support they can get so go on, follow, comment, show your love :)

Secondly I am going to start trying to find the time to get this going again because last year I did a big push at trying to help new students and I think I am going to do the same thing again, so check back soon for more updates, discussions, insights into student life and my general rambling.

Oh!

We have hamsters!

The white one is called Nibbler because she bits, A LOT! The brown one is Fudge Cake (Named by me unsurprisingly) We have had them about three months and they are the cutest things ever!

A New Start

With this blog; I think it is time. I have been neglectful and possibly should be taken to blogger jail and have my blog taken away and cared for by someone else.

A quick catch up with my life so far:
I have finished my first year at uni and got 62% overall which is a 2:1 which is good! To all you people who don't know uni jargon, 70% is a First and that is what everyone aims for really (I know its stupid but that's just the way it is!)
I have LITERALLY become obsessed with Stephen King, he is a fantastic writer and is my new role model.
At the minute I am back home because uni is finished until September, we finished in April though! I can move into my new flat on the 14th of July though and I am pretty excited. I am living with two really nice girls, should be fun :)
My friend and I have submitted our finished novel to a competition and are waiting impatiently to hear from them. They say we should hear by late July whether we have been shortlisted. The prize is a publishing contract which is really exciting!
I have been to France to visit the family and it was really good but the weather was disappointing. My sisters are growing up beautifully, but way too quick!
Other than that I still really have no life what so ever, but I am determined to return to pointlessly filling this blog with my ramblings :)

Today Sheffield, Tomorrow, the Rest of the World

Me and my boyfriend have decided to start saving seriously for a trip, if not around the world, then at least around Europe or America/Canada. And you all thought I never actually get out. Well yes, I suppose this blog's name is a little ironic seen as though I don't really ever go anywhere, but in about two years I will hopefully be jetting off into the world. So, I am officially taking suggestions on what countries/cities to visit, anyone got any suggestions? :)

New Hair, New Life

I got my hair cut today, a fringe!! I have had my side parting for at least 7 years? Something like that anyway, and then suddenly on the spur of the moment I decided to get a fringe. Crazy, yes. It looks alright though :) I got a few looks walking through town, though they very easily could have been laughing. I must say I feel very strange with this fringe, seeing it above my eyes all the time, it will definitely take some getting used to! But I like it so far.

Before

After

Tomorrow we go on a trip with uni to Yorkshire Sculpture Park, which yes I went to only a month ago. However its a new exhibition so it should be good. I have a strong feeling they will make us walk the whole way round which is VERY far, so I'm not looking forward to that, but I do need the exercise: I feel like I've abandoned the gym. I'm on this diet you see, so far I lost 9lbs but I'm pretty sure I put some back on because I had some treats but yeah, the 3 mile walk will help :) I'm mostly excited because its just like a school trip :) so should be really fun.

And I've just realised I have just revealed my face for everyone to see. Well, there you go :) thats me!

Oops!

I know, I know, I have gone totally slack with this blog. If I'm honest it is because I am completely lazy! I haven't forgotten about it, in fact every day I scold myself, telling myself that I said I would post every day, even if I bored people to the point they tore their own hair out. But unsurprisingly, my efforts dropped.

OK, so updates. I have recently chosen my modules for next year: Children's literature and Writer as Teacher, both for the second semester, so during the first I will be doing the mandatory poetry and script writing, along with prose and there is some other ones in there I completely can't remember! The Children's lit attracted me because of the reading list and the study of the psychology behind books written for kids. Some of the books we look at are Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter 3, The Illustrated Mum, Noughts and Crosses and, the one that cracks me up every time, Bumface! (yes yes I know, I'm childish). With Writer as Teacher, we go out to schools or community groups and run our own writing workshops, which terrifies me to my soul, but that's what I want to do when I finally get out of this place (uni) and get into real life. So I've got to start somewhere, right?

Erm, wow, the last book I reported on appears to be the Millennium Trilogy. Well, since then I have finished the MONSTER that is Under the Dome by Stephen King and, just finished tonight, American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis both of which were very good. American Psycho very detailed and gory, much worse than the film, but still great. The next book on my reading list is The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, by Stephen King.

I went up home for the weekend last week, first time since being back from Christmas. It was great but it was way too short. I miss home already and if I am honest, I cant wait until April to be back there for summer. I'm starting to hate being down here because I am just so out of the loop with home. I miss that life and this one here isn't good enough to make up for it. Roll on the end of uni I say!

At this particular moment this is all I can think of to report and, it being 1:23 am, I would like to go to sleep. So, goodnight.

Why Pay and Not Go?

To University I mean. We currently pay £3,200 PER YEAR to go to university, and my course in particular has a serious lack of classes. This semester (between now and when we finish for summer which is the week of the 18th of April!) We have a class on Tuesdays, wednesdays and thursdays, totalling 7 hours class time. This compared with other courses is certainly not a lot. On top of this we don't have any exams and if I am honest, only a minor amount of homework and assignments. Granted these assignments drove us insane over Christmas and no doubt will again before deadlines in May. But I personally think we have gotten off lightly to be doing a "real course", despite what some people think, and to have so little class time. So where is the excuse for not turning up?

There are several members of my class that turn up every time, myself being one of them, and then several who rarely turn up, the worst lesson for class attendance is, unsurprisingly, the thursday morning class at 9am. This class, however, is currently the most important because we are set a small assignment every two weeks to be completed and handed in as a group piece. The grades for all of the separate assignments will be added up and then you will be individually be awarded your average grade. In an attempt to make each persons overall grade fair you must be in a different group for every assignment. I don't know personally, is it just me or does this seem flawed? Im not sure what it is but it doesn't seem quite right to me. Even just the fact that some people can't even be bothered to turn up to the lessons suggests to me that these same people are unlikely to equally pull their weight in a group.

So the question comes down to why are these people paying to NOT come to the meagre amount of lessons we have? I guess they are paying £3,200 a year for the "student lifestyle", which is all well and good because I imagine they couldn't get up to half the things they do here if they were living in their parents house, but still. Even renting a flat wouldn't be as expensive as being at uni. I can't help but think of the people who didn't get a place on the courses over the people who are on courses but never go to lessons. Seems awful unfair to me. I am the last person you would see condoning the rise in tuition fees, however it most likely would stop the people who come and don't bother going to lessons and might make people think twice about missing out on lessons to go drinking. But then it probably wont, because the world is just a big mess like that.

The Weekend Starts Over There

Had a class today, words and images, best one of the week. We went to Sheffield train station to take pictures to write Haiku's for homework, which went fine until security guards politely, and then not so politely, moved us along. We did however manage to get some snaps before they so rudely ruined our homework. Just a warning, my Haiku's aren't brilliant.

 

Click on the images to enlarge :) We are meant to do five but so far I have only thought of these three, and this one for fun:

They were meant to have metaphors like my friend has just kindly pointed out, but oh well I've got two weeks to do proper ones. These are just a bit of fun i guess. Wait... what?? Fun with poetry? Me? Something must be wrong with me.

A huge long boring weekend looms ahead, that's the problem with uni, never anything to do. I will most likely spend the whole time in bed. I've been very tired recently but haven't been doing much with my life. There is probably a reason for this, most likely that I don't go to bed until 2am, or something to do with my diet maybe. 

I finished the whole Millennium series (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). They were sooooooo good!! I advise anyone and everyone to read them! I'm now onto a set of Roald Dahl books my step mum bought me, almost finished Boy. They all seem very quick reads, a day for each one I would guess :) 

Pretty on the Inside and Out

Yeah right. All I can say to these people is, who are you kidding? Maybe someone can be beautiful on the inside, if who they are trying to please likes that kind of personality, or shares the same interests. But on the whole I would say on the inside we are all abstract and weird, misshapen and frail. This isn't so much a bad thing, I am not trying to say we are all weirdo's and are messed up in some way. I am just trying to say that we are all different and because there is so much less pressure put on our personality than our looks, that is OK.

However when appearance becomes involved it is a whole different story. I, just like everyone else in the world, desperately seek acceptance. Most of us dress up, cake our faces with makeup, hit the gym and diet all just in the hope that one day someone will comment on how nice we look, have we lost weight etc. Those who do none of those things are the people who gave up a long time ago, and those who say they never were like that, you aren't fooling anyone. Every single one of us gets that lovely feeling deep down inside, the warmth that you can physically feel, when someone compliments you. Then you go home and look in the mirror and think, maybe they're right. After that we allow ourselves a tiny moment of self worth. This lasts only until the next time you look at yourself in the mirror. The next time you look you think, I haven't lost weight, what am I wearing? I look awful today. We bombard ourselves with self destructive comments that eat away at our ego. We watch films with beautiful women and think, I could never ever be like that. Every day we wish to be more than we are, but already know that we can never be more than what is right there in front of us. Sure, we can lose a few pounds here and there, spend a fortune on a new dress that only gets worn once or twice, but in the end it comes back down to the same fact. We all want to be told we are beautiful.

I am one of these people. Now when having my weight guessed this weekend by someone close to me, and they suggest 15 stone, I suddenly realised how the world sees me. I wont say how much I do weigh, but I will say it is less than 15 stone, and as any woman, and probably man too, knows that when someone thinks you are heavier than you are, that screams one thing: FAT.

I have never been good at taking my own advice. I was going to use this post to make a comment about real women, and about how beautiful every single one of us is. But I wouldn't take that on board myself. I do however want to start an exercise and I urge anyone who reads this, man or woman, to take part. I want to create a post telling the world how beautiful we are. Post anonymously if you want, that's fine. But tell me, what is the one thing you like best about yourself?

I'll start. I love my eyes and my eyelashes.

And then, just to brighten someone else's life that little bit, send your best friend a compliment, or next time you see someone tell them something you like about what they're wearing, or how they have done their hair.

Some People are so Rude

Today as part of my dad's birthday celebration we went bowling (amazing fun, we both won a game each :) ). However the downfall of the day was the young gentleman at the bit where you exchange your shoes for those amazing bowling shoes that slip too easy on the carpet and feel very unlike real shoes. This young man was the essence of rudeness. He didn't look at us when he spoke to us and he straight out patronised my dad, who I don't think noticed, or if he did he didn't care. But I did. No one talks like that to my dad. It literally made me feel sick. How dare he speak to us like that? We were paying customers and he was plain arrogant. I soon realised, however, it wasn't just rudeness to us. A young lady approached him to ask about how to work the keyboard to type in their names. He was so sarcastic and patronising to her I could have kicked him. People like that don't deserve to be payed. I totally understand Mary Portas plight for better customer service. I should tell her she needs to go to Sheffield Hollywood Bowl and sort that guy out.

On a lighter note we had a wonderful day of Pizza hut and Yorkshire Sculpture Park, even if the wind was crazy, but the windswept look is in, right?

 

Alone

My flatmate moved out this morning. She has quit uni because she wasn't enjoying it and has gone back home to London. She sprung the news on my last night when we got together and ordered pizza. I just think about how I was going to put it off and suggest doing it another night when really it was her last night here and I just didn't know. She used to live in the room next to mine, so when she was moving her stuff out at 8am this morning I was woken up with banging. I wasn't annoyed, I was sad. She was my only flatmate that I really get on with and that I'm not uncomfortable around. Now I'm alone as an outcast in the flat. I know I should extend a hand of friendship to the others but its awkward and I don't know what to say to them. I constantly have this worry that people don't like me and so it makes me feel like they don't want me to talk to them, though it's probably nothing to do with that at all. It's so quiet without my flatmate here, I used to be able to hear her through the walls. I hope she gets to do something she really enjoys now though, and I'm happy that she's doing what she wants. This is the fourth friend I have who has dropped out of uni.

On the plus side I see my dad again on Monday. He came over on Thursday afternoon after I had been on the phone to him the night before, upset and missing him. We went round the two galleries in Sheffield and it was good. I loved seeing him again. I'm not sure yet what we're doing on Monday, but it's his birthday (I wont say how old he is :P ). We might be going to Yorkshire Sculpture Park or the cinema, depends on the weather really.

Overall I'm having a rather dull weekend, there isn't much to do on weekends when you're quite far out from town and you don't get on with your flatmates. I have to do some clothes washing, but the price of £2 per load really puts me off. However I am now pretty much out of clean clothes so I have no choice.

Random Thoughts About Life

This morning I woke up thinking about my dad. Possibly because someone had posted something on Facebook about having the best dad in the world. I know that everyone says that, and the truth is that if a dad has stuck around in your life then that makes them pretty great to start with. I hate it when people who have both their mum and dad in the same house (or even in the same country!) talk about how they hate their dads and that they're so annoying etc etc. How do you think I feel? My dad left when I was about three (i think) and when I was eight he married my step mum. About four years ago, maybe a little less, they moved to France taking my two little sisters with them (obviously as kids that age can't exactly be left behind). I hate it. I hate that they are always so far away. I see my dad every so often when he comes over to England for work, but that's only every couple of months. I see my sisters for about two weeks once a year. It really does kill me but then I think, I have to be grateful that my dad even wanted to keep contact. There are plenty of dads out there that just left their children and disappeared. I sometimes wonder what kind of person I would be if I hadn't have had a father figure in my life. It's impossible to say really, same for if I tried to guess what I would be like if he and my mum had stayed together. But looking at it from my position now, I'm glad that both my parents are married to other people now because if they weren't I wouldn't have my two beautiful little sisters and I wouldn't have either of my step parents. I think for a girl who mostly grew up a single child with one parent around most of the time (I did used to spend every other weekend with my dad but now I wish I had spent longer with him), I didn't turn out too bad. I definitely didn't turn into what the media suggests I should have. So all I wanted to say was that I also think I have pretty amazing parents - my mum for bringing me up and my dad for not deciding to abandon me.

Where did my day go?

Into two whole seasons of Sex and the City that's where! I've only got two left to go until I've finished them all (and I've already watched the films), and I'll be back to looking for something else to obsessively watch. Programmes can just be so addictive I can't control myself. I watch too many at once and then I'm lost all over again. (Previous indulgences include True Blood, Ugly Betty, Glee)

I did also manage to (so far) write about 1000 more words of my new story (Mslexia says that if you write 300 words a day from the 1st of February your manuscript will be finished before the deadline for the competition I might enter it into) So far I have 1,606 words and my first chapter finished. I still haven't decided on the ending yet.

I was going to go out and start my "guide to" blog posts, but it turns out i was too lazy today. I very well may do some tomorrow before or after my seminar. I have, however, begun to create a folder of things for my accommodation guide, so that's some sort of progress. Anyway, that's my whole day in a nutshell.

Actually, on second thoughts, I did take out both the kitchen bins today and cleaned the cooker and the sideboard, but no one will notice. My flatmates will still think I'm a good for nothing lazy thing. But at least I know the truth, right?

Bringing People into the World

Of blogging, of course! No, I am way too young to be a mother yet! What I mean is I have introduced my friend into the wonderful world of ranting to the Internet. So far he only has one post, but if anyone has time they should check him out (right after they click follow on my page of course :P )

http://stopbeingsosynical.blogspot.com/

I've also made the decision to, because of the increase of future Sheffield Hallam students viewing my page (mainly because I posted this to The Student Room - if you don't advertise yourself, no one will) I am going to be posting a series of "A Guide To..." blog posts, focusing on everything you need to know about being a student in Sheffield. The first to come will be "A Guide to Sheffield City".

And finally, I have begun writing a new story, one I think I mentioned in a previous post. One and a half pages written and I think it's going well! Off into town tomorrow to start accumulating pictures for my first "Guide" post. Remember, check out my friend and give me a follow to restore my faith in the world :P Thank You and good night!

First Week Finished

I've finished my first week back at uni now and so far so good. I'm now in three days a week as opposed to two and most of my classes seem pretty good. On Tuesdays I have the "Craft and Form" seminar which I wrote about before, on Thursdays I have "Creative Language Awareness" seminar which, in short, is pretty dull. Two and a half hours dedicated to words and grammar and communication. DULL. But at least all our assessed pieces of work are group work. In our first lesson we looked at situations where you would use communication and talked about why the way we communicate might be affected by things e.g. relationships. We then went through an exercises looking at old and new "smoking kills" labels on cigarette packets and rewriting then working out what made each stronger and weaker. I can't say that at 9am that lecture was thrilling. Our final seminar of the week then is "Words and Images" which is by far the best we have. I don't really have a grasp on what exactly we do in it yet, but I think we look at how imagery has inspired pieces of work, how writers have used images to enhance their work and also how they incorporate imagery into their work. We also have a group project to complete which consists of a 20 minute presentation based on an art exhibit in the Millennium gallery Sheffield entitled "Graphic Nature". We also have to write a blog! But this one doesn't count so I am officially writing two blogs, this one and one for uni. So far though it all seems pretty good and I'm looking forward to next week.

I have also finished "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" which was so good and I would recommend it to anyone. Basically its a murder mystery crime novel, you just have to force yourself through the first hundred pages; its very business focused for alot of it. Besides that it is brilliant.

My boyfriend has been down this weekend for his birthday. I say the weekend but he came Wednesday night and is staying until tomorrow afternoon. All we have really done has been to go to the cinema; we went to see the Mechanic. It was actually pretty good, nothing that required too much thinking, but yeah. And actually, thinking about it, that's about all we have done except play computer games and go to Tescos! I also had an almost argument with my flatmates about taking the bin out. They keep writing notes to the house about keeping the kitchen clean and everyone needing to pull their weight. I know that they are partly getting at me about this, however even though I know I should do something for the house, I still stand by my argument that I rarely use the kitchen and when I do I take things back to the bin in my room and I was up in my bathroom sink. I am not the one who leaves dirty dishes out for weeks and I'm not the one who fills the bin to the point that it overflows. Anyway I am trying to stay on their good side but its easy to see that we don't really see eye to eye.

I'm also thinking about entering a poetry competition within the uni, but I'm not sure what to write yet. If I'm honest I don't really like poetry that much, but my old tutor (who is actually one of the judges) always praises it and says he's impressed by it so maybe I would be in with a chance? I'll keep you posted.

First Day Back at Uni

Today was our first lesson of our second semester in our first year as Sheffield Hallam Creative Writing students :)  We met our new tutor today (well, one of several) her name is Suzanne Batty and she's a poet. It was a pretty decent lesson, except for the painful and cheesy "get to know each other exercises" that, even though we all have known each other for half a year now, had to endure. We had to think of an animal that begun with the first letter of our name and then say an interesting fact about ourselves. Pure cheese. Except for that we mostly just did a few writing exercises.

After uni I went to the flat of the two girls I'm living with next year to decide which room we would each have in our new house. It was all done by random but I still got the room I wanted (in the attic) so yey.  I wouldn't have minded the middle room I just didn't want the one downstairs. It seems wrong to have a front door in a bedroom. The door isn't used as the main door, you're meant to use the back one to get in and out of the house, but what if people knock on your door while you're asleep or something. It just creeps me out basically.

A Long Weekend

It's been a while since I last found time to make a post, I was aiming for everyday but oh well. My boyfriend came down this weekend to visit and all we really did was watch a heck of a lot of Glee! We did, however, find time between all the singing and dancing to venture into Sheffield centre for some shopping (though I didn't actually buy anything) my boyfriend bought an iPod touch, second hand but it still cost a lot. I'm not complaining though; some of the apps are brilliant! And very obsessive! We also watched Friday the 13th which in my opinion was boring and repetitive, satisfying when the most annoying characters were killed though, and especially satisfying seeing that Dean from Gilmore Girls (or whoever from Supernatural) was the main character.

We also went to the cinema last night to watch Little Fockers, which was hilarious (and one woman in the audience obviously agreed judging by the volume of her laugh!) It was such a good film, I would definitely recommend it, if you have seen the first two films then you pretty much know what to expect, and if you haven't, why not?

Another main focus of my weekend has been Ratchet and Clank a Crack in Time on the PS3 that my boyfriend brought down for me. The game is just as good as the past ones; funny, challenging and generally great. I just need to be careful it doesn't suck all my life away!